Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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