Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
