Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
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