i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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