Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I just had sex on a roof
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
