wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
