So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
