...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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