i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
