Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
