Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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