HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
