Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
