you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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