dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
