So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
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