just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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