Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
