i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
