I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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