Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
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