high people should be assigned attendants
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
