dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
