I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
