I faked an abortion last night.
I am midnight drunk by noon
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
When did angry sex become our thing?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize
