Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
