Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
