how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
