Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
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