There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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