Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
