Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
too bad you live with your parents still
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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