I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
