you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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