I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Randomize
