the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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