Jerry, you need to find god
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."�
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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