I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
