whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
me + whiskey = a bad person
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
