i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
