Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
