oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
