doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
