Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
