why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
