i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
