I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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