If that was your dad, he is hot
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
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