Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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