someone threw a dead crab at me
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
